May 18, 2008

find the key word

...all about this is fake. you're fake, I'm faking it, but still I let this build inside of me.
Two days I looked at those pics you gave me. I seemed to forget those were fake too. I just kept thinking I even made another of my usual mistakes, thinking "this time it's really gonna be different". Then, today, I saw another picture and I don't know if it's fake. It probably is ('cause that's what you said once - but maybe you were faking it). These feelings are fake (both mine and yours). I just know it, but still, I let this build inside of me.
I said five words (trying to fake what I really felt at that time) but you were deaf, or the music was too loud. (I'm trying to fake optimism here, help me a bit).
Right now I'm faking that I don't care and you're faking an attitude just to let me know you noticed me. Fake, all so fake! But you know what? This is never gonna get real, 'cause this game is about faking (an identity, attitudes... and you know just how good we are at faking pictures).
Next time I see you, I'm sure I'm gonna fake a smile to hide my fear. Then I'm sure you're gonna fake some words to make me feel better, faking that you actually care about how I feel.

...don't try to understand, 'cause what I've wrote here is...fake.