Day by day I'm growing more disappointed by people, by places I find myself in and by my self for not being able to hold onto my ambitions. Seems like I can't find my place. Day by day so many things change and the way I feel about different situations. It seems easier to take these changes and they bring more joy that changes used to bring through teenage years. It's different now. Armour got stronger, shell got thicker... (OK, I'm not sure I like the way that sounds, but I'm gonna leave it anyway).
In deed, this new era it's not about speed anymore, it's about information. Loads of energy and time consuming energy. Everything gets so simple, yet so so complicate to deal with it in the same old 24 hours. I'm reconsidering "pointless" and question more about open mindness... Reading became a whole different experience and I seem to have lost track of my old passions. Seems so odd to call them "old" and picturing them inside my head as dusted and hidden in chests...
It's interesting to observe what are the things that bring me joy in these times. Redefining role models, reconsidering purposes, choices, likes and dislikes. Truth is I still don't like a bunch a people (a little more every day). I'm losing patience in front of any thick-skin and I think more people should to. I don't see the purpose in tolerating bullies and bad manners, mostly when you know you would never treat other disrespectfully.
Anyways, most rewarding these days I find the fact that I know what I want, who I want and I feel less sorry for past losses. Even though there is one thing I will always regret losing... :) But I guess that's just how life goes. It gives you something, then takes it way...leaves you with a scar and for the rest of your time around this place you know what you could have had if you had become a better person sooner.