April 26, 2015

Only love can hurt like this

...or at least that's what they say. Is it possible to feel both young and old at the same time and over the same thing? I guess it is. I noticed that as I age pain keeps getting shorter, but sharper. I'm back on my feet in no time, but the bullet scars are there to stay... that I know. I carry the wrinkles of my poor choices on my face. They will remind me forever of the wrong paths I took. And boy, I went all the way to the dead end every time. I swear I don't understand where all my energy comes from. How am I still able to stand and how am I able to start over as nothing ever hurt me before? Sure, that's far from being a bad thing, yet it surprises me. To be honest, I'm proud of the person I grew to be after walking through thorns for so long (and the painful journey seems far from over). I'm proud not to hate anyone. I'm proud of how I manage to put all that energy into improving myself so I can start over and over again... and hope for the sun to rise and never set... Is it even possible? Does the heartache ever go away for good?